


Two Minutes

by Quiddity_and_Bone



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec may not care about himself but he doesn't want Magnus to hurt, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, I just needed them to talk to each other, I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 14:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quiddity_and_Bone/pseuds/Quiddity_and_Bone
Summary: This is coming to a fight, and Alec knows how it's going to end.  He's made his peace with that.  But he needs to say goodbye first.





	Two Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. It hurts me how little Alec cares about himself so I needed Magnus and also you to hurt too.

The door was barely open before it shut in his face.  Alec knocked again, almost desperate.  “Magnus, please.  I need to talk to you.”  He hated the way his voice was shaking but he couldn’t help it.  The door opened again.  Magnus’ voice was cold, his eyes more guarded than Alec had ever seen.

“Whatever you need I’m sure you can find another warlock.  Surely the Clave hasn’t burned through all their allies?”  The High Warlock of Brooklyn stared icily at Alec, powerful and distant and mocking.  There was no trace of Alec’s Magnus in his demeanor.  Alec had never felt so small, so lost.

“Please Magnus, you don’t owe me anything but please listen to me.  2 minutes and I’ll leave and I won’t come back.  I just need to tell you something please.”  Magnus stepped aside after a long moment, beckoning him into the loft, he gasped out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding as he stumbled inside.

“Two minutes.”

“Magnus.  I just- I need you to know I love you.  And I’m sorry.  I know why you had to do what you did I just- I don’t- everything is so bad right now and it’s only going to get worse.  I don’t know what to do and I can’t stop it and I can’t save everyone and-”  Alec broke off and took a long steadying breath.  He suddenly felt very calm, removed from himself.  When he kept talking, his voice was flat and steady.  

“I’ve always known I was going to die taking a blow for Jace.  He’s reckless and I’m self sacrificing.  It was always going to come to that.  I knew the minute I drew the parabatai rune how it was going to end.  This is going to come to a fight.  This is probably going to come to a three sided war.  It’s going to be ugly and dangerous and Jace is going to be watching Clary’s back instead of his own.  And I’m going to die.  And I’m scared, not of dying, but of dying without you knowing how much I love you.  You’ve saved me in so many ways, you changed my life and I’m forever grateful for it.  When I die, it will be because I love my brother, because he deserves to live, not because I think I deserve to die.  And I owe that to you.  So thank you Magnus, I love you so much.  I don’t regret loving you, I don’t regret choosing you, I just hope you don’t regret me.”  Alec scrubbed his hand down his face, surprised to find he had been crying. “Goodbye” he whispered as he stepped out the door. 

He was halfway down the hall when he heard a crash.   Magnus was clinging to the door frame, his face blurred with tears.  His voice was wrecked as he called out “Alexander wait.”

Alec was in Magnus’ arms before he even decided to move, clinging to him desperately.  Alec was gasping out sobs, suddenly flooded with all the fear and grief of the last few days and the dizzying relief of finally feeling safe, feeling home.  He was crumpled into Magnus’ shoulder, and he could feel the warlock pressing kisses into his hair, murmuring something too soft for Alec to hear.  

“Come on darling, come inside.”  Magnus’ voice was soft, his hands gentle as he tugged his angel over to the couch, pulling Alec into his lap.  “Oh my Alexander, I’m so sorry.  I love you, more than I thought possible.  I shouldn’t have left you alone my darling, all I’ve done is hurt us both.  Can you forgive me?”

“I never blamed you Magnus, of course you’re forgiven.  But I lied to you, I hurt you... I’m so sorry, I can’t...”  Alec’s voice was shaking as he trailed off.  

“Angel, I forgive you.  Please let’s put this behind us.  All that matters is that I love you and you love me and you’re in my arms.”  He wrapped his arms tighter around him and Alec snuggled further into his chest.  

“All I want is to be yours again.”  

“You are darling, and I’m yours.”  Alec lifted his head at Magnus’ words, tilting his face up to his boyfriend, who smiled adoringly as he leaned in to kiss him.  The last knot in his chest loosened, Alec felt lighter than air, a sense of rightness settling into his bones.  All too soon he would have to leave, go back to the Institute, brace for the coming fight.  There was still a tangled web of politics and a psychotic madman, but it could wait just another minute.  As he curled closer, sinking into the kiss, he knew he could survive anything with Magnus at his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Alec Lightwood deserves more hugs and more chances to not be the strong perfect shadowhunter leader and just cry. Let the poor boy feel his emotions. Magnus loves him so much.


End file.
